CAN A REAL MAN LOVE A STRONG WOMAN?

Note from emanita01:
Attention folks, I did NOT write this, but it is good thought fodder!

 

I’m becoming increasingly concerned [about] the term “strong woman” and how it is being increasingly used by women who have been hurt and are now obstinate, belligerent, combative, and vindictive as a result.

A real man NEVER has to say “I’m a man”. Boys, unsure of their manhood, are the ones who feel they have to convince others that they are a man. There is no mistaking a real man. Everyone recognizes him when they see him.

Strong women NEVER have to say “I’m a strong woman”. Everyone recognizes strength in a woman when they see her. Feminine strength is usually accompanied by grace, elegance and beauty.

Women who have been seriously hurt are the ones who publicly proclaim to be strong. Tyler Perry said in the movie: Why Did I Get Married II, “It is hard to love a good woman who has had a bad man.”

It becomes difficult for good men, real men, to love the “strong woman” because she has been hurt. She puts up a “strong” shield to prevent that hurt from happening again. She tries to move on and find love with other men. However, she is hurting.

Hurting people tend to hurt other people.

So now she becomes the “player” and either consciously or subconsciously takes her revenge on the next man.

GOD loves to protect his daughters so HE will make sure that she crosses paths with a good man, a real man, but the pain she is carrying will cause her to reject or mistreat him.

The only people [who] can be truly loved are those who are truly loveable. Carrying hurt and pain can make a woman who was once strong, elegant, and lovely very ugly.

It takes real strength and integrity for a woman to retain her internal beauty after she has been hurt emotionally. A woman who has been hurt must forget the hurt, forgive the ones who hurt, and then live, and allow herself to be truly loved.

After she has dealt with a [zero] GOD will see that she receives the 1.

William Drwill Small

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About emanita01

I am a Franco-american woman who hails from Brookline, Massachusetts. I live in France near the Swiss border, only minutes away from Geneva. I am a member of the International Women's Writing Guild, the Geneva Writers Group and the Association La Forge, a literary group based in France. I write stories, poems and am currently working on a couple of plays and a dramatized poem.
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8 Responses to CAN A REAL MAN LOVE A STRONG WOMAN?

  1. Gary says:

    Hello Emanita01,

    This post caught my eye! I wanted to read it through, not because the topic effects me but because it makes sense, and yet I wonder why the psychology of it has not touched me personally.

    My first marriage failed after 24 years of being the recipient of regular verbal abuse and more than one session of physical abuse. It is not typical to hear about a man who has been abused by a woman but it does exist.

    I re-married a few months after the divorce was finalized. I re-connected with my first love, who also had married a “Lemon” of a spouse. He treated her with disrespect and held her fearfully captive in a marriage with threats of violence if she ever was found unfaithful. Yet…he himself was routinely visiting the bars and having one night stands with any and all that would take him. He sported trophies of his sexual conquests in view of his wife. He would ask for an ear ring from his one night stand and pin it to his cowboy hat. He wore the fornication emblems proudly in sight of his family and would fall drunk on the couch as his wife cared for the home and three children. She eventually said enough is enough and kicked him to the curb.

    She and I married in the year 1999, she is the most loving and considerate woman, she makes me feel like a man, and lets me live like one too. She is strong yet vulnerable, timid yet fearless. We compliment one another with great understanding and love. We had both previously been married the worst, and survived to purely love again, in that proverbial “Match-Made-In-Heaven”

    We drag no ugly baggage, she does not make loving her difficult nor does she mistrust because of any abuse she suffered in the past.

    My wife is an awesome treasure…I love this strong woman!

  2. emanita01 says:

    Thank you, Gary, for sharing openly from your world. I’m glad to have a real man’s point of view. :-D

    I posted what Small wrote, not because I agree with him, but because my blog’s called Fodder4Thought and it does make one think.

    I did try to discuss other of his viewpoints with him (see A Man to Lead Women?) but he got so pissed off that he blocked me from his Facebook page. This took me by surprise because he calls himself, Drwill, the “relationship doctor”. Hmmm, more fodder for thought here.

    I guess you can imagine how glad I am to finally have a chance to read what a real-living man has to say versus reading a wannabe-living as “real man’s” comments. Do you see what I mean here?

    Though he does make several good points, I too do not agree that, in love matters, all hurt people (and not just women) systematically hurt others in return.

    So, we are at least three—you, your wife and me—who have not ended up like those portrayed in Small’s post ;-D

    BTW, it’s wonderful to hear that you and your wife are sharing the love and living a life that almost escaped you. Can you imagine what you would have missed if you’d both reacted as Small predicts.

    Thanks again, Gary, for sharing.

  3. emanita01 says:

    Back @ Gary: “…and yet I wonder why the psychology of it has not touched me personally.”

    To me the answer is obvious: You don’t go about proclaiming to be a real man, you live it. There’s no time to waste in proving to others this or that when you are living a thing, it seems to me that carpe diem is the way to go. An anecdote: Two frogs sat upon a lily pad. One said, ‘I’m thinking about jumping.’ The other did. So, how many jumped? Gary, for my bet, you are really a real-living man.

    “It is not typical to hear about a man who has been abused by a woman but it does exist. ”
    Sad to say, I do know of a man who was beaten by his companion.

    “We compliment one another with great understanding and love. We had both previously been married the worst, and survived to purely love again…”

    Music to my ears as I read and re-read those words ;)

    “We drag no ugly baggage, she does not make loving her difficult nor does she mistrust because of any abuse she suffered in the past. ”
    … you two are at an advanced stage. I do have residual baggage: anger!
    But it has lessened across the years.

  4. Gary says:

    Hello Emanita,

    In my first response to this article I wrote:
    “This post caught my eye! I wanted to read it through, not because the topic effects me but because it makes sense, and yet I wonder why the psychology of it has not touched me personally.”

    To clarify my thought, I understood what the original writer had in mind yet his take on the psychology the condition does not fit every relationship. This is where I had to write, in positive support of a strong woman. I wanted to deliver the view of a man who has the ultimate happy relationship with a woman who you would think has every good reason to administer “Pay Back” on a future man.
    Our new love is not wounded or passively aggressive, it is not vindictive and seeking justice for past abuses.

    Thanks for sharing your own story!

    Gary

  5. italktoyouallthetimeinmyhead says:

    Very true.

  6. tfaswift says:

    Hi, I know this post is ages old but I found it because I googled something about what kind of men like strong women, and this is one of the results. Have to say, kind of disagree with it, (you didn’t write it, so I’m hoping you’re not offended!). And the reason I was searching for that is not because I’m looking; I’m very happily married and we’ve been together for 6 years.

    I did the search because on my blog I have a bunch of male lurkers who just won’t speak. And most of the women who do interact are what I would certainly call strong women, including myself. I’m happy to be a strong woman and certainly not going to stop saying it because some person thinks we should be quiet about it.

    Men don’t have to say it because they have *always* been respected for their strength, but as a woman who does not fulfill the typical stereotype, my adult life has been spent fighting for the right to just have my own authentic personality. How many times I’ve said something and people get shocked and I’m like, “If a man said the exact same thing, nobody would flinch.”

    Gay people have had to stand up say “I’m gay! Get over it!” and black people have had to stand up and say “I’m black! Deal with it!” And yes, I think strong women are a minority group too and we should feel perfectly fine saying, “Hell yeah, I’m a strong woman, so if you don’t like it, bite me.” And thankfully I found a husband who loves me for it, not in spite of it. We have an interracial and inter-religious marriage and I sometimes wonder if that has something to do with it.

    But like I said, just trying to find some male bloggers who are willing to speak on my blog like they do on others … so where are the men who honestly and truly like ballzy women? I’m not mean; I’m actually very kind and compassionate. I just don’t mince my words and I’m opinionated (like most men! LOL). Anyway, off I go to continue my search …

    • emanita01 says:

      Hi, thanks for your comments. BTW, I’m not in the least offended…LOL. Yet, if the man who penned it reads your comments, I think he’d be…heh, heh, heh. He broke of dialogue with me when I challenged his beliefs then he shut me off from his FB pages when other women started commenting as well. Sighs. So much for standing up for one’s opinions…LOL!
      “… so where are the men who honestly and truly like ballzy women? I’m not mean; I’m actually very kind and compassionate. I just don’t mince my words and I’m opinionated”
      You go girl ;-D
      Hope you do find some of those male bloggers you’re searching for :-)

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